I always liked the Kurt Vonnegut quote: 'Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.' as a good way to try to live my life. How do you know if you are at the edge or not? Only if you go too far, cross that line across the edge and into the unknown. I interpret KV's 'edge' as that of mental stability, where crossing the line would imply insanity. I think I am able to cross that line on occasion on purpose. It's enthralling. Nobody ever seems to be happier than a crazy person that gets whatever it is that they want.
I'm afraid, yet at the same time completely enamored with the idea that I may be able to control my own (in)sanity. I need to find a way for it to be productive to be insane.
On a lighter note, I need to go to an orthopedic doctor Monday/Tuesday to get my leg looked at. My dad believes it could be a stress fracture and I believe it happened in 10th grade (hence when I stopped playing sports). Which brings me to the point: I think my tolerance for pain is too high. I've possibly been living, working, playing all sorts of sports for over 4 years with a partially broken right leg. If this ends up fixing my leg so that I don't have to take at least a day off in between sports days I'll be ecstatic! That will be my 'rebirth' second shot at living. I'll train and work myself back into shape enough to play for some club team or try out for a UF team if there is one.
By the way the new house is coming together slowly but surely. I'm almost all moved in but since I don't have internet set up there yet I'm still here using it in a dirty/mostly empty room. I can't wait for this new year of school and all the new challenges and changes from just a year ago. Moving with JP, sis and the rents made me realize how different I am. Such the social outcast to their idea of a normal life in my own house with my own family. So I wonder to myself why should I feel like such a leper around them? Is it because of the late nights and social circles? They are the only people I know that I am not able to stop feeling uncomfortable around. Need to work on that.
Favorite Famous People List Addition [self explanatory]:
Aaron Lewis
Dave Attell
Daniel Tosh
Heath Ledger (R.I.P.)
Currently in my head [see above]:
"You're in my web now. I've come to wrap you up tight 'till its time to bite down."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment